They Said, I'm The Happy One

They said I’m the happy one.

They just have no idea what I’ve been through for years.

They said my happiness came when I made that decision.

They just don’t know the misery I had to endure to get there.

I cried while working out.

I cried when the night came.

I stayed awake while everyone else was asleep, and I cried.

I hid my face behind the computer, crying before anyone could notice.

I wrote stories and cried while writing them.

I cried—many times.

I just never showed it to you.

I let you believe I was the happiest person in the world.

I let you talk about me, before I ruin you too with me.

No, Darling. You have no idea what I endure when the world falls into its quietest hours.